What can I do? (Levi x Reader woman)
by SraChoi
Summary: In this story, YOU are the main character. Something has happened but you can not tell him, not now, but... what can you do?
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I don't own «Attack on Titan». I just own this story. I neither own Levi, but he owns you (?)

I have uploaded this story in deviantart so you can find it there too. It is in Spanish too.

It may contain spoilers so... I told you...

And English is not my mother tongue, so, if you find any mistake, please tell me so I can learn more words and structures.

Now, enjoy it.

**CHAPTER ONE**

It's early morning and you just can't sleep; with resignation, you decide to get out of bed in order to look at the dark night from the window of your bedroom. Yesterday… It was a hard day: the mission to the forest left all of you full of injuries, physical and psychological injuries. You mournfully remember all your fallen mates who were left behind; their bodies, bodies spread along the field… Who knows if they have already disappeared, being food for those horrible creatures. You also remember his look, his sad look covered by a ferocious, and even indifferent, look.

You had already known for a long time and you were always jealously wishing that the love of your life wouldn't be so near to that woman, Petra, who was also your team mate. But now you can only feel rage at yourself because of what you had wished, a wish come true but it is a bitter "victory". She is not here anymore but, because of that, and also the same as those who couldn't return, she has left emptiness in a lot of people: families, friends, lovers.

You remember the day when Levi made you clear that he was only with you because of a carnal desire, a desire which would never be mistaken with love; because his heart belonged to the cheerful-look woman. You were only there in order to quench his thirst, a thirst quenched every night.

Now that Petra is gone, what's going to happen to Levi? Could he recover from this deep injury? You don't know what to do… Going to his bedroom to check his emotional condition? But… what would you say? You also can't forget your argument during the last night you were together, the night before the fateful day. As well as you can't forget his face, a face full of repulsion while hearing your desperation, your cries, your requests, showing your true feelings. Even though you had said what you had been thinking and your real feelings, there is something you haven't told him yet, something you can not tell him (and you mustn't) and especially now.

"What can I do? What can I do?" – That's the only thing you are repeating in your mind.

The only thing left is waiting. But… how long? One day? Two days? One month? Hopelessness is invading your body and the only thing you can do now is sighing while you are looking at the full moon, with your left hand against the cold glass of the window, and with your right hand gently caressing your still-flat belly.


	2. Chapter 2

**CHAPTER 2**

With great regret and with great emptiness, you wake up and get out of bed. How long have you been able to sleep? You think it was just two hours; your baggy eyes put in an appearance.

Because of the voices that come from the outside and you can hear, you suppose it's breakfast time. Now you doubt whether going down or not because you know what will happen if you go to the dining room: you will have to face that sergeant who robs you of sleep.

While you are arguing with yourself and while you are thinking about a plan in order to go unnoticed, you hear that someone is gently knocking the door.

"[Name], it's breakfast time, aren't you going to come?", says Sasha, your best friend, while she is opening the door of your bedroom. "But what happened to you?", she continues when she manages to see your condition.

You haven't realised that tears were running through your beautiful face and the only thing that comes to your mind is running to her and, falling on your knees, hugging her around her waist as if it were the end of the world. Sasha doesn't know how to react; she only pats your head while whispering calming words.

"Are you better now?", she asks you during the breakfast, while you two are sitting at a small table and while she is looking at you. "I don't want to put pressure on you but you know that I'm here for everything; if you need ease your sorrows I'm here to listen to you", she tells you while you raise your head and look at her with tenderness.

"Thank you, you are the best!" you tell her with your spirits raised.

While you are finishing having breakfast, you hear what is around you. Levi hasn't appeared yet, so you can be a bit calmer than before.

Everybody ends their breakfast while laughing at Sasha trying to cadge some food from other tables.

"Ah, Sasha!", you exclaim. "Come here, I'm going to give you what I haven't finished, but you have already eaten four dishes!" you continue saying while you are heading to where she is in order to take her to your table.

Sasha is one of the few people who make you laugh even during bad times.

Suddenly, you come to a sudden stop in front of your astonished best friend. You try to endure it but you know you won't. And there you are, in the middle of the corridor, looking at the floor. You don't know how long have you been doing it but then you hear a voice:

"If you don't get out of the way I'm going to make you get out of it and, believe me, you are not going to like it".

The moment has come; again, your fears start to invade your body. There he is, with the same look, full of repulsion, the same look you could see during that night.

You try to move but your feet don't respond. Everything is silent; thousands of eyes are over you two, suspecting that something has happened and suspecting that something is going to happen. You don't know what to do but you start to feel again what has made you stop there, in the middle of the corridor.

You don't have any choice but leaving slowly, dragging your feet till arriving at the exit of the dining room, where no one can see you now. From here, you start running to the bathroom, where you can only throw up the little you have eaten before.

Now, with your empty stomach, without any strength in order to throw up more, you decide to pull the chain and walk to the washbasin in order to clear yourself. After that, you look at yourself in the mirror: "where is that beauty you used to boast about and where is that beauty everybody used to admire?", that's what you are telling to yourself while you see your pale face, which contrasts with your baggy eyes that will take a lot of time to disappear (or that's what you think), accompanied by those spots on your cheeks, produced by several days of vomiting.


	3. Chapter 3

**CHAPTER 3**

Meanwhile, in the dining room, Levi was still looking at the door you closed. Sighing, on turning around, he starts to walk but…

"Let's see, you, shrimp, why did you decide treating [Name] like that?", shouts of your 'guardian' resound across the place. "You being in a bad mood don't mean that you can treat her like this; you haven't done it before and I'm not going to let you doing it again.

"I am not answerable to anyone, idiot" Levi's voice is low, threatening, while he turns to speak to sergeant Hanji. "This is something between her and me", he finishes saying while he seats down.

In spite of his rude manners, pretending indifference, Levi can't forget your sick and frightened face. And he can't stop feeling a bit of worry, but he will never give up. He doesn't forgive you for what you have said to him, everything you have thrown in his face. He has never seen you like that. It will take him a lot to forget it but he is going to forget.

He is still hurt because of all his mates being dead; it has just been two days since the mission. He still has etched in his mind that image about Petra being against that tree, that Dantesque image. It still turns his stomach, as well as it makes his heart stop beating.

He loved her, yes, indeed, and he even thought about marrying her, but he also couldn't forget everything he had lived with [Name].

"But it's all water under the bridge, nothing will be like it used to be" , he thinks while he starts having breakfast.

* * *

On the other hand, outside the bathroom, you find a worried Sasha. You feel the need of telling her everything, but you don't know how to start and where to start; you are afraid of her response. Will she get away from you because you haven't told her anything all this time? She is your friend, like a sister, she is going to feel hurt by knowing you were hiding it from her. And the more time it takes you to tell her, the more difficulty you are going to find.

"Out of the frying pan, into the fire", you think. Now you are going to tell her. But not here, walls can hear. You decide to go to her bedroom and explain everything: your intense argument with Levi, what happened with Petra and the baby that is on his (or her) way.

Sasha doesn't speak, she is only listening to what you have to say, she prefers listening all your reasons in order to judge them and to have an opinion.

"I knew you were hiding something from me but I couldn't imagine something like this. A baby… Do you realise what you have done?" She tells you the lowest she can, the only thing she wants to do is to shout. "You must tell him".

"Do not mention that!" you shout. "He has many things to take care of so he can't face something like this", you explain, showing gratitude for her support, now you feel a little bit better.

"I don't give a fuck how he would feel! After what he has done, after how he has used you… are you thinking about taking care of everything on your own? He should have leaved his thing in peace! Or he should have just wanked it off! Both, both!, you both need to face this situation" Sasha shouts at you because of your refusal, because of your stupid falling in love, because of your over-protection towards Levi.

"Who can't wank it off? "

Sasha and you turn your heads towards the door and find sergeant Hanji, who couldn't stand her worries more and decided to look for you.

What are you going to do now? Do you have to tell Hanji too? Hanji, a woman who always follow her heart; a woman who can unconsciously say everything to the less right person. You decide to keep quiet but Hanji is waiting for an explanation and, as you can see, she wants that explanation right now.


	4. Chapter 4

**CHAPTER 4**

The silence that surrounds the bedroom is interrupted by someone knocking the door. It's a cadet, whose name you don't know, looking for Hanji.

"Sergeant, finally, I've found you; Commander Erwin is asking for your presence".

"What a great moment…", says Hanji ironically. "But don't think about being able to escape from me, [Name]", she continues while closing the door behind her.

Silence again. Sasha and you are just looking at each other, without knowing what to say. She goes to the window.

"You know that you should tell him; he must know it, for the sake of everybody. Anyway, you have to think about what to do know, who you are going to tell this because, sooner or later, you won't be able to hide it and you'll have to stop working here for a time", Sasha tells you while she is looking through the window, looking at the people, who are going back and forth. "Oh my! It's training time! And I think we are late!", she exclaims while getting ready to go down. "Come on!"

"But I still have enough time…" you say to yourself because Sasha is far away.

* * *

Levi didn't use to train with the cadets but today he will make an exception. He needs to know why [Name]'s face seemed so sick. It's not like he cares, he is saying to himself, it's just curiosity.

You always train with the cadets, but you are not one of them; you have an upper rank but, additionally, below Levi's and Hanji's. You could train with the sergeants but you prefer stay there with the cadets; you think training with them is necessary, as well as knowing about them, working with them; after all, all of you are going to fight together. But, from now on, you'll need to pay attention to how you train.

* * *

Everybody is gathered now, lined up in front of Commander Erwin and some sergeants, among them, you can see Hanji and Levi. The morning speech takes place. Today, all of you are going to work in groups of three or in pairs.

Looking for Sasha, you find Hanji, who is shaking her head and goes towards you in order to hold your hand and take you to one of the few people who haven't got a pair of group. You have already known it; Hanji is always causing a mess. Another chance of losing your temper.

On the other hand, Levi can't help but be a bit anxious because of your proximity. He hides that anxiety under a cold image. "I have already forgotten her, now she is just a mate and we only have to train"; that's what he is telling to himself.

The first activity is hand to hand combat. Well, at least you can ease yourself, or that's what you thought, because Levi has already knocked you onto the floor.

"You don't want to protect yourself from me?", he tells you as he teases you.

Bad choice, dear Levi. You have stood up and you start attacking him without paying attention to where you are hitting. Levi tries to stop you by grabbing your leg that you have been raising in order to continue with your attack; this action made both of you fall on the floor.

"You are crazy", he whispers you to your ear.

With difficulty, you try to stand up but you can't, since he got on top of you.

"You know why I'm crazy", you tell him. "I told you the other day: I'm fed up with you; you are always treating me like that, only coming to me when you are horny and just because Petra rejected you. You don't need to look at me like that because what I'm saying is true. And now that she's gone… what are you going to do?", you abruptly tell him, but you don't like how things are turning out. "You are not a man…"

It seems that he didn't like those last words because he has moved aside, getting up quickly.

"Leave, you are not going to train today", he tells you.

"I'll leave when I want".

"Don't forget that I'm your superior".

You can not disobey now. With the head high, you salute him and turn to your left in order to leave that place but, suddenly, you stop to look at him.

It seems that Levi is waiting for you to speak but there's no response, both of you are looking to each other. Finally, you show him the middle finger of your right hand, which says a gentle "fuck off" and then you start to run, before seeing any reaction coming from Levi.

* * *

During the rest of the day you are as if you were in limbo. It seems that your "talk" with Levi has left you affected.

"But it's not such a big deal, I have just made him remember some things", you say to yourself.

You are not aware of what is happening around you till the moment when you raise your head and see yourself at the table of the dining room while having dinner. Dinner!?

That moment goes smoothly, but you are not calm. You can feel Levi's eyes looking at your back. As you are sitting far from him and you have your back to him, you can't see him but feel his presence. And you can guess when he stands up in order to leave the place.

* * *

You are very sleepy and you need go to bed now. After avoiding Hanji, who suspects something, you end up in one corridor, the one which leads you to your bedroom.

There, outside your bedroom, you find Levi, who leans against your door. He is impatiently waiting for you.

You can't help but give him a nervous smile. You curse mentally: when both were happy together, you hardly could see him during the day but, now, he is always showing up in front of you.

**END OF CHAPTER 4**

I think this chapter it's a bit "weak" but I needed write it in order to create a link between the previous chapter and what I want to write in the next one. I think there will be a kind of "surprise"… well… I hope so…


	5. Chapter 5

**CHAPTER 5**

"I was waiting for you", he tells you while you are approaching to him.

"I suppose, this is my bedroom".

You are on the defensive and Levi knows it; he should be careful with what he says in order not to make you feel nervous again and in order not to leave the place without asking you what he needs to know. He looks at you from top to bottom, making you feel as if you were naked in front of him; you clear your mind but then you think again.

'Don't be an idiot, he can't read your mind', you say to yourself.

"You say?", he asks you. It seems you haven't said that so low as you thought.

"Nothing", you don't know what to tell him.

Neither he knows, he doesn't know how to start a conversation with you.

"And how have you been these two days?", Levi has found a way to start a dialogue.

"Very good, indeed", you don't lower your guard.

"Good", he says.

"Why? Are you interested?", you ask.

"Tsk. I only want to start a civilised conversation with you", he replies while you start to feel a bit trapped again. "It has been ages since we were like this, alone, don't you think?"

"That's because you always had your lapdog behind you".

No, it seems that you are not willing to collaborate in that "civilised conversation".

You can feel it, even under that strict appearance: he is getting angry and that's not good. If he gets angry, he can hurt you, that's something you know very well, something that you have lived before.

"I'm trying to be nice to you", he says with a threatening voice.

"That's because you need something, don't you?", you can detect how he is slightly rising his right eyebrow, another symptom of anger. "If not, you weren't here, 'having a conversation' with me", you say with an irritating tone.

"I only came in order to see how you are doing, this morning you seemed sick", he says.

It seems that his stoical image is not going to last a lot.

"Well, and I only want to say that it's not your business. I don't know how you can think about coming here because of that nonsense. But, if you are really interested, and as I have told you, I'm fine, thanks", He being angry makes you be angry too. "I have answered; you can go now. Bye".

"Enough!", he shouts.

Suddenly, in the wink of an eye, you see yourself tapped between the door and his body. You try to move but he has his hands holding your arms; when he feels that you are trying to escape, he sinks his fingers into your skin.

"I'll tell you again", he says very near your face. "I only want to have a civilised conversation with you".

"But now you are not at all being civilis-

You can not continue talking: Levi's lips have captured yours. You can feel a great pressure, he is putting a lot of pressure on you, and tomorrow your mouth will be really red.

His tongue asks for permission to enter into your mouth, which you accept. You have been wishing to be with him again, loving each other, but he had to choose the other girl.

That thought makes you be still, which Levi realises but he doesn't stop "assaulting" you mouth, tasting that feast he hasn't tasted for a long time. He can't help it, he starts savouring you, looking for your tongue, biting your lower lip.

You can feel his body against yours; your breasts against his torso, his legs against your legs, his member getting ready against your abdomen; you don't remember it being so… big, maybe it's just the necessity (well, yes, you remember). You moan of pleasure.

It seems that sweet sound has made him get back to reality, releasing your mouth; he is again very near your face.

"I'm fed up with your fits of anger and your lack of respect", he says while looking at your half-opened mouth.

You don't say a thing, you just look at him. As he doesn't receive any reply, any reaction, he only sighs and releases you completely; but you still feel his fingers on your arms. You just look at him, waiting for him to say something.

But Levi dares not to ask you what he wants to know. Another sigh, he turns around, he has to go to his office in order to finish all his paperwork, but he doesn't want to leave.

"Don't hold your breath", that's the only thing he says while walking along the corridor, leaving you behind.

"That's true, as Petra isn't here, you think that I'm here waiting for your needs", you blurt out and run to your bedroom, closing the door very fast because you have seen that Levi turned around in order to go towards you again.

You don't move, you are behind the door, pushing it in case he wants to enter; but there's no need, that door has a lock, but you feel safer that way.

After hearing his steps getting away from your door, you just go to sleep, but with pain in both arms, a tickling sensation in your lips and a heat inside you, thinking about the next day, thinking about whom you will tell, thinking about whom you will have to face. Thinking that you still have time before telling everyone.

What you don't know is what his reaction will be, something you are very afraid of. You are more scared of his reaction than you are of a colossal titan's presence.

**END OF CHAPTER 5**

Well, my writing style sucks at that kind of "scenes"... sorry T_T


	6. Chapter 6

IMPORTANT: this chapter may contain a kind of "spoiler" from the manga.

And thanks, ScarletNight7, for your comment. I'll try to upload one chapter per day ^^

**CHAPTER 6**

It has been more than two months since your last argument with Levi. You haven't argued with him, he hasn't tried to come across you again; has he lost interest in you? But he is always keeping an eye on you during the meals, during the trainings, during the battles… He even didn't let you take part in the mission of enclosing the female titan.

On the other hand, Hanji already knows about your condition, she supports you, but she wants you to bring it to light, because you can't continue working while having a baby inside you; but you are very stubborn.

Regarding battles, you are ready for new orders to join a new one: this time, you'll have to leave the walls and kill a group of titans coming to Wall Maria, which represents a menace.

* * *

Now, everybody is on their horses, getting ready, waiting for the gates to be opened. Once they are opened, you go near Levi, who just let out his characteristic "tsk" while looking out of the corner of his eye. You simply don't pay attention to him.

Some kilometres away, you find the first titans. When given the signal, you attack. You are paying attention where you are stepping on; you are not the same as you used to be, when you used to attack without thinking, killing all the titans near you. This is something that Levi realises; while finishing with every titan who is in his way, he doesn't stop watching for you.

Suddenly, you see a titan trying to escape. It's an abnormal? Without doubts, you go for him.

"[Name]!", Levi is calling your name but you can't hear him.

Thanks to the Three Dimensional Maneuver Gear, you can hold onto the trees while you are increasing your speed in order to catch that creature.

You move forward, jump, avoid branches, run, fly, trying to catch the titan is a real Odyssey. But, finally, you caught up with it and, in one stab, you kill it.

You easily go to the branch of a huge tree and clean your sweat. Even though it was not a big titan, killing it left you exhausted but you smile because of your victory. You turn your head and, suddenly, your smile disappears.

Where is everybody?

You look all ways; you don't know where you are. You decide to go to where you think it's "going back" in order to see if you can find your mates.

You move forward but you can't find them. Where the hell are they? You stop again on a tree in order to think about your situation: it's getting dark, there aren't titans near you, you don't know where to go.

You look your surroundings again and find a cave, whose entry is very small, very narrow.

You decide to go inside it; it's very dangerous to stay outside, even though there are lots of trees in order to climb. You quickly enter the grotto and sit down with difficulty.

This cave is not big, it seems there's no one there (there's no animals nor titans), it's the perfect place to spend the night. If a titan appeared, it would find it difficult to enter, so you would have enough time to escape or climb those big rocs in order to be far from them.

* * *

And there you are, sitting and bored. Sure that Hanji and Sasha are suffering from nerves, and sure that Levi is cursing you. You feel a little alone but, quickly, you realise that you are not. You are not alone, you think while putting a hand on your belly.

Some hours later, you are falling asleep. You can hear crickets and the sound of the wind. You can also hear some kinds of steps.

You quickly stand up in order to listen to it better. That are not steps of a normal titan, they are stronger. Could it be a colossal titan? Or a so-called armored titan?

You look through the hole of the cave and, unexpectedly, you see a big eye. You can not scream, you can not move. The eye moves away, allowing you to see that shape better: it must be a titan, but it's very furry, you haven't seen a titan like that. It looks like a monkey.

That being is looking at you, you can feel it; although it's quite dark, you can see clearly his body, feeling his gaze, which sends you shivers.

"Hello".

Wait a moment; this titan… is greeting you?


	7. Chapter 7

**CHAPTER 7**

You can't move, you are very surprised. A titan… speaking?

Although you don't move, that being starts to bend over, stretching out his long furry arm, which makes you react.

With difficulty, you enter into the cave, as deep as you can; you find it a bit difficult because of your stuck-out belly, which, even though it's not so evident, you can not move as you used to do before. You don't look back but it's not use: you can clearly hear who that titan manages to destroy the entrance of the cave in order to make it bigger.

You arrive at the end of the grotto and, there, you turn around. Although he has destroyed the entrance, he doesn't enter, letting you a bit puzzled.

That beastly titan whispers some words and leaves you there. But, before leaving, he lets out a shout.

A kind of shout which you know a lot about. In fact, the titan was calling to the others of his "species". Now you are in danger. Even though it's still dark, there's a bit of brightness, you don't think a lot of titans will come. But, just in case, you walk to the entrance in order to put some rocks you could move, in order to block that big crevice.

And there, near the entrance, you can see it: a group of fifteen titans are running to the cave. You left everything in its place and turn back to the depth of the cave; now you are trying to climb those big rocks in order to be as far as you can.

You don't know what to do. If they enter, and you are pretty sure they will, you are not going to live to tell the story. In that small place you are not able to use the Three Dimensional Maneuver Gear but you may kill one or two of them.

You close your eyes for a moment, trying to relax, and, then, you open them again and start to get ready for whatever comes along.

You hear noises, steps getting near, they are coming. You are ready to attack those who may enter but…

No titan has entered. It's strange… They are neither hitting the wall of the cave. What's happening?

You wait and wait and wait, nothing happens; you decide to have a look and then you cry. Tears of relief are running down your face. Your saviour has come.

Finally they found you. Levi, with the help of his squadron, kills ten of them. While the rest continue fighting against the titans, he goes towards you. You cannot help but run to him and hug him. He is still, but, then, he hugs you tightly. Both have been scared: you, because of your incapability to kill any titan in that place; he, because he almost loses you.

Despite this "beautiful" meeting, Levi isn't carried along and tells you:

"Prepare yourself when we reach the walls".

You gulp and look at him. Now, you are afraid of him. But…

Suddenly, you look at the entrance and see two titans inside the cave, they are near you. Because of the area, they have to crawl.

Without letting you go, Levi decides to attack them. Hits come and go and you can only hold him, trying not to hinder his movements.

"You can leave me there, in that rock", you say.

"Shut up", it's the only thing he tells you.

He continues fighting, that coming and going makes you feel sick, but it quickly goes away when the last titan has thrown both of you a big stalagmite, which makes you fall down.

The titan moves closer, he has that stupid smile on his face, which makes Levi angrier. He tries to move but he doesn't want to let you there.

Seconds that seems hours, the titan is slowly coming but, then, it feels a movement and turns his head to the left. That movement comes with a cut on his nape, which makes it drop dead.

* * *

When Hanji saw that two titans were entering into the cave, she wanted to go to them but others stood in her way, making her to kill these ones first. After killing those titans, she managed to enter into the grotto, where she could see that a titan was trying to kill two shapes that were on the floor.

She arrived in time in order to rescue them and, when she saw who those shapes were, she just breathed in relief.

* * *

With the help of Hanji and some cadets, both Levi and you manage to get out of the cave unhurt.

Once you know that you are safe, that there's no danger, Levi goes towards you and aggressively hold your right arm.

"When I told you that you were crazy, I was not wrong", he threatening whispers you. "How could you even think distance yourself from your group!? Do you know what would happen if…"

He can't complete his sentence. A muffled scream from Hanji interrupt his speech, attracting his attention.

"What the hell is your problem?"

Hanji can only point at you, making Levi turns his head towards you.

Everybody is looking at you, but Hanji's eyes make you feel fear. You look at your arms and body but then you decide to look down.

Is that… blood?


	8. Chapter 8

First of all, thank you, ScarletNight7 and MellifluousMurmurs, for your comments ^^

**CHAPTER 8**

You arrive (well, in fact, they take you) at the infirmary. You are absorbed by your thinking. You are afraid of the worst but you still have hope.

Once you are in the infirmary, which is inside Wall Rose, with the help of Levi and Hanji help you to lay down, while an expectant Sasha, who had been waiting for you near the wall, is looking at you. You don't move, you are motionless.

The doctor, taking care of your needs, tells everybody to leave the room. You don't need to say anything to her, your eyes say everything.

"First of all, we'll check everything; we may find any cause of that blood which is not related to your baby", she says.

You nod and allow her to do that. The blood is not coming out so regularly as before, you cherish your hope.

After checking you, the doctor leaves, so everybody who was with you has entered again. Levi, who has entered the last, is just looking at you, without knowing what is happening; on the other hand, Sasha is holding your right hand and Hanji is sat on the bed.

You wait for the results; you wait for the doctor.

When the doctor enters, she tells you that she need to do another test so, in order to have more privacy, she closes the curtains that surround the bed. Then, she starts with the last test.

Once it is over, she looks at your eyes and shakes her head while saying a "no".

It can't be, you say to yourself, it can't be! It CAN'T be!

"So…"

"I'm sorry, nothing can be done", she says bitterly.

Something inside you breaks. You start to shout, nothing can calm you now. "My baby! My baby!", that's the only thing that is heard along the room and corridor. You start to cry.

Hanji and Sasha come running to you and hug you tightly, you just can't stop crying, you can't stop regretting it.

But there's a moment when you stop crying, you are very tired for crying. You are very tired, exhausted.

Then, you see Levi near your bed, with his eyes wide open.

'It is over, he knows', it's the only thing you are repeating in your mind before collapsing, before you pass out because of a physical and psychological exhaustion.


	9. Chapter 9

Thank you, MellifluousMurmurs, for your previous comment ^^

I know it's an excuse but sorry for the grammar mistakes... I'm sleepy and I've been reading and studying Chinese all day, so my mind is full of Chinese characters (as well as it's full of "strange" words related to the Old Spanish language) T_T

**CHAPTER 9**

When you wake up, you find that everybody has left the room, but one person is still there; Levi is sat on a chair next to your bed.

"All this time… You didn't think about telling me?"

You don't say a word, you feel that there's no need to tell him anything. Everything has been said… but not your reasons…

He nods very slowly and decides to leave the room.

"Where are you going?", you ask him.

"If I don't leave now, I will be able to strangle your beautiful neck with my own hands", he says while closing the door.

* * *

In one week, you left the infirmary. One week later… but your belly still sticks out. It's normal, or that's what the doctor said. It still hurts you a little bit.

That great loss has made you live in misery, in distress. Sometimes you think that your life doesn't have any goal, any reason.

"If Sasha and Hanji hadn't been there, I wouldn't have known what to do", you think while going to the meeting in order to wait for new orders.

This time, you have to "comb" the surroundings. Some titans are prowling around Wall Maria.

* * *

Nothing, nothing comes to your mind. You simple attack and kill those titans you find, without realising what is around you. You are not as careful as you used to be one week ago.

And you don't see that Levi is paying you a lot of attention. Looking at you, looking at how your Three Dimensional Maneuver Gear is out of gas, and making you fall down.

And there is when he goes to you and save you again. And there is when you look at him, while he says a "Tch".

You know that you'll have to face his verbal attack again.

* * *

And that verbal attack came too early. As soon as you were inside the Wall, he caught you.

"What are you doing!?", he starts saying.

You are quiet and "listening" to him.

"I'm not going to tolerate any whims of you. If you want to die, just do it; but I'm not going to allow you to put others at risk. Are you listening to me? If you continue like this I will…"

"Have you finished yet? I leave…", you say while you walk to the dorms.

"Come here! Now!", you don't listen. "[Name]!".

Once you are in your bedroom, you go to your bed in order to lie down and cry.

* * *

You don't leave your room in order to have dinner nor to have breakfast. You are lain down on the bed, you haven't move since yesterday.

The sound of someone knocking the door brings you to reality.

"Come in, it's open".

Then, Levi enters with something in his hands: he is bringing you food.

"I'm bringing you the breakfast", he says shyly.

"I don't want it".

"Do you want me to feed you?"

You sigh and start to eat a little bit, just to make him happy.

* * *

Levi can't stand the silence and ask you something you were waiting for him to say:

"Why didn't you tell me? Why did you hide it?"

"No, you didn't need to know it, we are not together. Anyway, I was just your second choice; why would you want my child? It would have been better if it had been Petra's, right? I'm pretty sure you have thought about it too. And now there's no way to go back…".

A plonk sounds in the room. You turn your head.

He has slapped you?

You can't hold it any more. Something inside you has broken completely.

"It was my decision! You had already chosen back then. You chose and you just didn't lose one person but TWO!", you say, everything is over, you get up, leave the room and run along the corridor, leaving a confused Levi behind.

* * *

You run and run and run, he is very close behind you, he wants to stop you but you are running very fast.

"But… how can you run so fast… in your condition and with your tiny legs?", he shouts at you, without stopping running.

"The giant is speaking!", you say, making him angrier than before, if that is still possible.

* * *

You arrive at the Wall and decide to climb it, Levi is behind you. You are very tired, tired of everything. Everybody is looking at both of you.

You stop, he is in front of you.

"Come on, you must come back to the infirmary, I think you need help", he is trying to be reasonable.

You only smile, a crazy smile, a hopeless smile. You put yourself on the edge of the Wall, with your back to any titan which could be down there.

"No…", he whispers.

You don't back down; you close your eyes for a moment and, soon, open them again, without losing your smile, but there are some tears on your face. You look at him; it is the last time you look at him.

And you fall; you are falling to your death.

**THE END?**

What can we do? Is this the end or do you want another chapter?


	10. Chapter 10

MellifluousMurmurs, thank you so much for your comment

**CHAPTER 10**

You feel your body falling down. "Freedom", that's what you are thinking; it's like a little bird which has escaped from the cage that had him captive. You close your eyes and let your mind travel…

* * *

You don't see a thing, everything is dark, a darkness that, little by little, starts to disappear. While your sight is getting used to that darkness, you hear that someone is murmuring while saying:

"I'm the Death for every creature, which are and will be in this world…"

You can not hear anything else but, finally, you can see something: people, people walking. But there's something strange… It's a parade, where the people are following a being, which is carrying an arc and an arrow. Suddenly, that parade stops. That being looks at you, making you shiver.

You soon realise that it's the Death, which has gone to meet you. Behind it, there's a great queue following it; among these people, you can identify those who joined into battle with you, dying during that moment. But you can also see that there's a difference between them: some people are really transparent, while others are just translucent. You look at yourself; you are of flesh and bone. What's the meaning of this?

"The more invisible you are, the more dead you are. Those who are transparent have already died, there's no possibility for them to come back", it seems that this being has read your mind.

You see all kinds of people: adults, teenagers, children… Children running and playing, without realising what's going on at that macabre "parade", without knowing anything about their destiny.

You stop, there's something which attracts your attention: a cry, a baby, a baby who is carried by the Death. This baby is neither transparent nor translucent. You can not help but remember your own child, whom you couldn't see.

The Death nods, extends its hand towards you, asking you to take it. You go towards it; you want to be near that baby. It makes you feel a warmth that you haven't felt for a long time. You are getting near, your body is disappearing but you don't mind.

"[Name]…", that being is whispering.

You are about to touch its hand…

"[Name]…"

* * *

"[Name]!" a shout makes you come back to reality.

You wake up on a bed; you are in the infirmary again. Hanji, Sasha and Levi are there too.

"It's a good thing that Levi didn't take off his Three Dimensional Maneuver Gear! You scared us!", you hear a worried Hanji.

Your eyes are closing, you are very sleepy… You go to sleep again. "Shhh, it's normal, it's because of the trauma", that's the last thing you hear.

* * *

You wake up in the infirmary again, not knowing how long you have been there. You look at your left and see that Levi is sleeping there, on your bed.

You try to get up but you only wake him up.

He lovingly looks at you, or that's what you thought, because he is, again, coldly telling you off. But, then, Hanji enters and protect you.

While looking at how they are arguing, you start to laugh, which moves Hanji.

* * *

After three days in bed, you can go out to have lunch with the others but you still have to come back to the infirmary once a week.

You arrive at the dining room, where everybody welcomes you and shows their support. Tears of happiness run through your beautiful face.

You are heading to your table but you see that Sasha is not there. Where is she?

"[Name], sit down here", Levi is telling you to sit down next to him.

In that table you see Sasha, who is trying to get Levi's bread while he is only looking at you.

You go to that table but, on the way, you stop, as you had to do that time.

But on the contrary to your "collision" with Levi, you feel something inside you. A soft hit, a kind of kick. You put your right hand over your belly. Yes, you can feel it.

But… how is that possible?

**END OF CHAPTER 10**

I want to end this chapter by saying one thing: what the Death says, the "I'm the Death for every creature, which are and will be in this word" is my translation (a really bad translation) of "Yo só la Muerte cierta a todas las criaturas, que son y serán en el mundo", which is taken from a manuscript of El Escorial (Spain) kwon as the "Dança general de la muerte" (in English, more or less: "General dance of the death"), which is from the beginnings of the XV century. It's a medieval text which is a bit "troublesome" but there's no need to explain why because that's not related to this fanfic.


	11. Chapter 11

It may contain "spoilers" (but I don't think so). But just in case... you are warned!

And thank you, MellifluousMurmurs and Guest (what a pity I don't know who you are...), for your comments ^^

Finally, I'm sorry for being late but I had to study a lot T_T

Now, enjoy the chapter:

**CHAPTER 11**

You are in the infirmary (again) and the doctor can't believe what she is looking at.

"It's a miracle", she says while she is looking at the results. "It's impossible".

You've got your head in the clouds. Finally, you can see the light at the end of the tunnel; all your worries have disappeared. You haven't been so happy for ages! You soon leave the room in order to meet Hanji and Sasha and tell them about it.

"So… you didn't lose the baby?", the soft voice of Levi brings you to reality.

"It seems so. The doctor can't believe it either, but it doesn't matter. The important thing is that he or she is here, with me", you say while your hands touch your belly.

Levi is looking at you doubtful.

"And… what am I going to do?"

You know that you must talk about it right now; you can not escape forever. Levi, who agrees with you, takes you to his office, where you sit down on a chair which is in front of the big desk.

"This time, we have to decide something, we have to talk", he says.

"Indeed".

You don't speak. There are a lot of things to say but both of you can't find the right words.

"You see…"

"I've been thinking that you don't need to be worried about anything. I can take care of the baby by myself. I know it's a burden for you and I know that you feel that this is not your place; I don't blame you, I want to live with my baby and I don't mind being alone", you don't let him to talk; you don't want him to interrupt you.

"And what happens if I say that I want to be with you?"

You are silent, what can you say? You didn't expect that.

"Ah…", you look at the window. "Look! It's so late! It's getting dark!", you say while you stand up and leave the room and start to run.

Levi knew about this kind of reaction, it is not the first time, he says to himself while he remembers the day he "confessed" to you. He lets you go but he is not going to stand back and do nothing. He has already lost an important person and he doesn't want to lose you nor the baby. Then, he realises that…

"I… love her?"

* * *

Months come and go, between battles in which you can not join and dishes full of food you devour without stopping. You can't forget Levi's attempts to be next to you, and you moving away while shouting and crying.

"Being pregnant is a bloody nuisance", he thinks while he is going to buy the toffee apple you have been asking for during your "craving attack", which came followed by another attack of anger and cry.

* * *

Finally, the great moment is here: the day of the labour.

Unfortunately, Levi is not there, he had to go on a mission. But Hanji and Sasha are waiting outside the room, waiting for you to stop shouting, calling the "responsible" who made you be in that situation, crying because of the pain…

But, suddenly, everything is silent, but that silence is interrupted by a soft cry, made by a baby.

The midwives and the doctors are checking that everything is o.k. Now your friends can enter in order to meet the baby.

But you can't understand the strange look of the doctor who is carrying the baby:

"He is a very healthy boy but…", he starts while he gives you the baby so you can see it too.

"But… what?", you say while Sasha is very surprised and Hanji is looking at the baby astonished.

The baby is fine but there's something strange in some parts of his skin; it's like a kind of crystal, a very hard skin. But that "crystal" disappears, leaving the skin as if it hasn't had anything strange just a moment ago.

It seems that Hanji knows something because she is trying to speak. You are waiting for her explanation. Then, she starts to explain everything.

When you realise what's happening to the baby, you only whispers the following thing:

"A titan… shifter?"


	12. Chapter 12

It may contain a kind of "spoiler" but I don't think so because I have made it up just by basing on what the manga says.

I want to say THANK YOU to piggythelaw, MellifluousMurmurs, Titan Ruler, as well as to the Guests, for your comments. I'm not going to say anything so... read the chapter ^^

**CHAPTER 12**

When you get rid of a problem, you find another one, that's what you are thinking while you are waiting for Levi. Although you beg everyone not to tell him, Hanji told you that he need know because that's his duty as his father.

You hear strong steps along the corridor, very characteristic steps. He is here.

"As Hanji has told me, you wanted to hide it from me too", he says angrily while he is closing the door of the room.

"But I knew nothing!"

"But you didn't want to tell me".

"How am I going to tell…?"

"Shut up!" he shouts, making the baby wake up.

"Do you see what have you make me to do?", he says while he is going towards the baby.

You are afraid of his reaction. Levi… next to a "titan"?

Suddenly, he asks you just by his gaze to take the baby in his arms. Such tenderness makes you cry a little bit.

"What will be his name? Or have you already thought about a name?"

"I was waiting for you".

"What about [Baby Name]?"

"That's fantastic!"

Silence…

"You don't know how this happened, do you?", he asks you.

"No, but I have a feeling about it because Hanji told me a lot of things related to that Female Titan and that boy that is under your care, Eren".

"And?"

You don't answer. He just sighs and gives the baby to you again.

"We can't continue like this. Your matters are my matters", he tells you.

"I know how much you hate titans, as all of us, but my son is not just a titan: he is human. I know how you treated Eren during his trial and I'm not going to allow you to do something to my little baby. Never!"

"You think I would do something to my baby? Our baby?"

"I don't know what to think", you just say.

"You are such a…"

All of a sudden, he turns around and goes to the door.

"You are always making me angry and making me getting away from where you are".

"That's because I'm always right".

The last thing you hear from him is the bang of the door and his angry and strong steps in the distance.

* * *

It seems that what you were thinking was right because the medical report during the monitoring of both the baby and you concludes by saying the following:

"[…] In the past, during her childhood, [Name] suffered from an experiment in which the patient was injected some doses of a _transformative _in order to prove that people can be turned into titans (nowadays these titans are known as _shifters_).

Apparently, those _vaccinations_ didn't transform her but they remained in her genes, making the substance to pass from her, the mother, to her son.

We conclude this report by specifying the characteristics of this _transformative_: […]"

* * *

One week later, you are in your own room. When you came back to that room, you found that Hanji and Sasha turned it into a very beautiful room full of toys and other things for the baby in order to welcome him.

Now it's time to feed him, so you breastfeed him while you start to sing a lullaby.

You are so absorbed in feeding him that you don't realise that Levi has entered. So you only see him when he is in front of you.

"What do you want?", you say while you are defensive.

"You know that we must talk and we can't leave anything half said. But, first, I want to tell you something, something that has taken me a lot of time to accept, which I really regret", he says without losing his stoic look.

"With that look, it may not be a good thing".

"It depends on how you look at it. I love you".

You don't say a thing but your face is saying everything, you cry.

"It seems that being with me has made you feel sad, more than be happy. See? You are crying", he says while he wipes your tears and looking at the baby who is sleeping on your lap. He is looking at both of you lovingly.

"We have to talk", he continues. "But, first of all, I want to tell you that I need you with me, I need both of you, I couldn't live without you. I love you. And there is something I want you to do for me".

You can't help but look at him with a look full of love, a look which he has been missing, that look which never left his side even during bad times but a look which turned into a sad one for a long time.

"**What can I do?",** you ask.

"Marry me", he says while he bends in order to kiss you. You only say a "yes" and close your eyes while waiting for that awaited kiss. A kiss which is interrupted by a soft sound made by [Baby Name], making both of you look at him at the same time, while you are lovingly smiling.

**THE END**

Although it's the end, I'm thinking about writing an extra chapter, an "epilogue" but, first of all, I have to think what to write about (but I have an idea ~ ).

Thank you so much for reading this fic. It's the first one I have posted on the Internet and I have learned a lot of things while doing it.

I hope to "see" all of you in the coming fics ^^


	13. EPILOGUE

First of all, thank you, piggythelaw and MellifluousMurmurs, for your comments. I'm so glad you liked the fic ^^

IMPORTANT: this "chapter" contains bad bad things, sinful things, so be careful. I'm warning you ~~

**EPILOGUE **

A strong slam sounds in the corridor at 7:30 in the morning, accompanied by a laugh and a plonk.

"Shit", whispers Levi after he hits his elbow against the wardrobe of their bedroom.

[Name] only laughs before his rush, his emergency.

"Instead of laughing, you could help me", he tells her while he takes off his jacket and shirt, and throws them to the floor.

"Does it hurt?"

"No, I'm fine. How much time do we have?"

"One… half an hour", she says while she takes off her jacket and belt.

Levi can't help it but hold his breath while looking at her shirt. A growl sounds in his throat.

"You don't have your bra", he whispers; he feels his crotch getting bigger inside his trousers while looking at how her shirt touches her breasts.

"Why? You would 'fight' against its closure", [Name] says while moves a bit away.

While she is moving away, he, in a rush, gets to take off his trousers and socks. He desires her and he can't hold it anymore.

[Name], meanwhile, is trying to take off her own trousers but she can't.

"Help me".

Levi, who is now in all his splendour, naked, goes towards her.

"First you need to take off your boots", he bends down in order to help her.

"At last!", she shouts.

"Shhhh", he silences her while, bent down, he take off her knickers.

He doesn't move, he just looks at her.

"Do you like what you see?", she says with coquetry while she leans on a table.

"You don't know how much…", he whispers.

* * *

IN ORDER TO READ THIS **MA** CONTENT, go to deviantart (without spaces)

fav

.

me

/

d79nfje

* * *

On the other hand, he feels his member about to explode. He can't wait, he needs her right now, he feels the necessity to fuck her without regard but, suddenly…

"Ahhhhhhhhhh", a cry sounds near the door.

"Shit, shit, shit!" shouts Levi while [Name] is uneasily moving on the table.

"Don't say that about your son"-

"It's not been half an hour, shit!"

[Name] nervously puts on her knickers and Levi's shirt.

"Wait a moment; I'll be her as soon as possible. I only have to breastfeed him".

"Don't forget that, once you come, I'll be the one who will 'feed' you", Levi says with a lustful smile.

"Levi!", she tells him off while she heads towards the adjacent room.

He only sighs and sits down on the bed. He always has to wait for his needs but, he thinks, it is worth the effort when he looks at his happy son and wife. It's a happiness no one will destroy it.

After thinking that, he lays down with the face up, waiting for his lovely wife. While she isn't here, he starts to think about what he will do to her once she is there, lustful things, which makes his member swell even more.

He doesn't know how long he has been thinking about that because, all of a sudden, he feels how lips kiss the tip of his member where precum has begun to appear. He looks at her.

"Where were we?", she asks him while she places herself in order to enjoy the feast.

He only smiles and leans back again in order to enjoy the moment.

**THE END**

(the real ending)

Well, well, well. I have another fic in mind wehehehehe so... I hope to see you there ~~


End file.
